I see John pull his cold body out of the water on the far side of the Duke Faculty Club pool. He is not supposed to do that. He is supposed to do another length of paddle kicking and then get ready for freestyle. Instead, he is curled into a fetal position, dripping onto the cement.
So it is with some reluctance that I put down my copy of Cold Spring Harbor. My intent is simple. I want to get him back in the pool. Easier said than done, I think to myself as I navigate through a field of spinning toddlers. The mommies are on cell phones. I am in the middle of a crowd of people that are completely blind to my presence.
“John, tell me what,” and here is where I stumble, because I want to approach him with some gentleness, “you are feeling.”
John is still. His eyes are focused straight ahead, at the surface of the pool’s edge. His forehead is less than three inches above the cement. I am not making it up. There really is a light blue cast to his skin.
“I don’t like swimming team.
He sounds like he could cry. John never cries. I think he has cried three times since I have known him. The other day, he sprained his foot. No tears.
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