Royal Deal

(AP) Kansas City, MO. ALL EDITIONS. SP-MO141

The Royals traded two young stars and Relish, the third of their three Heinz condiment mascots, in a sign and trade deal on Tuesday afternoon.

“We had some signability concerns with Relish,” said Dayton Moore. “And, oh yeah, Soria and Butler, we’re gonna miss them, too. The Pirates wanted a throw-in, and we had a few. The details just worked themselves out from there.”

In return, the Royals are going to get the future stream of payments generated by baseball’s revenue-sharing agreement that were destined for the Pirates. The Royals will get payouts for the next five years, ending in 2014. The value of the payments could reach as much as $150 million. In 2006, the Pirates received $25 million.

They also get a player to be named later. Rumors are that it will be Randall Simon. If so, manager Trey Hillman already knows that he’ll fit in, filling a spot at first base for the Royals.

David Glass was not in his stadium suite on Tuesday, but was reached by telephone.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, “we’re on the five-year plan now!”

Speaking from the Flora-bama, Glass reiterated that there were plenty of good ways for the owner of a major league sports franchise to spend an extra $25 million.

With regard to Butler and Soria, Glass acknowledged that some fans might be unhappy.

“There’s bound to be some people who get emotional about some players,” said Glass. “But its just like it was in ’01 with Dye and Beltran, where we were just one or two more players away…from getting enough fan support to lose our gold mine.”

The Royals already hinted at big plans for the extra revenue. Moore intimated that the agreement would give the Royals room to sign more than a few current Royals to longer contracts.

“Betancourt and Crisp, for sure,” he said. They’ve got options and I knew when we traded for them that we’d need to be creative. Now we can lock up some players for a long time. Players, might I add, who know how to be aggressive at the plate.”

“This is great,” said Hillman. “We’ve already got a hot dog in right field. I think we all know, though, that we’ve been playing without relish on the field for a long time. Why do we need him in the stands?”

The transaction will have to be approved by the commissioner’s office. Commissioner Selig is yet to make a public pronouncement. However, unnamed sources indicate that he is fine with the Royals having a double stream of payments, provided that they do not use the money to sign any players above slot.

Relish is second to Mustard with 21 first place finishes this year.

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I Had Jury Duty

When it is your time, its really just very simple.  I opened the letter from Durham County, standing at the mailbox in my front yard:

You are required to report for jury duty at 8:30 am, Tuesday, June 9.   

Now, I am not one of those people who wants to get out of jury duty.  Actually, I think I understand the reasoning that says that every citizen should have to fulfill the obligation to make up a “jury of one’s peers.” So my first reaction is not what you might be imagining.  It is not, “hey, I definitely can get out of this.”

Maybe that reflects poorly on me in a world where the law is, first and foremost, a business.  Maybe I am some kind of dunce to want to participate in a system whose very practitioners seem willing to move beyond its ideals.  Well, bully

beach

We have arrived in Frisco for our vacation.  Its the Outer Banks – a unique piece of geography that bless North Carolina with a world class beach destination.  There are two city blocks on each side of the main street (NC-12), and other than that, it is open ocean. 

I rode 22 miles this morning, up and around to the Cape Hatteras National Seashore. 

Last night, we traveled through one of the worst storms that I have ever seen.  I suppose I traveled on a more difficult one in St. Louis, back in the late 90s.  This was almost as bad.  Susie ate through both sets of fingernails.  The rain shot across the road, making waves.  Our minivan was thrashed by wind.  Lighting lit up both sides of the road.

It is time to play Cinderella.

Swim Test

Just yesterday, there we were at the Duke Faculty Club.  Rosie and John are both in the water.  Their joy is unmitigated, undaunted, un-PYC. Rosie, this week, has learned to put her head underneath the water and burble along for a few feet.  When she surfaces, she is ecstatic.  John just swam two lengths of the Olympic pool.  A swim test – an eternal rite of passage.  For John, it’s no problem.

If only it had been that easy for me.

–  –  –

Tad held the Evinrude steady as it propelled our Boston Whaler way past the buoys and into the sound.  The motor cut through the still black water. It was already hot at 9 am.

Tad put a Camel out on the sole of his top-sider and squinted into the morning sun.  Ed, who was facing me, rolled his eyes in my direction and chuckled.

“Ohh dude,” said Tad, “I can barely stand up.”

“A friend indeed,” said Ed.

I could tell that I was going to hate Tad and his friend Ed.  It was not just that they were older, or that their parents belonged to the Pequot Yacht Club and I was just taking morning sailing lessons like some kind of tourist, or that they both had sun-bleached Boast shirts and hair that curled around their Croakies like Roy Scheider. I mean, sure, those were all good reasons to not like Tad and Ed, but I was just getting to know them.  I could tell that there were going to be more.

Still, I wanted to be sort of opaque about that, because I was also completely